Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
