Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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