dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
