I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
