Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
