Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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