I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
