Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
