if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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