I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
