Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
