My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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