I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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