i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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