dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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