It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
two words: eviction party
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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