YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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