Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just made my gag reflex go away.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
