Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
