just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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