To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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