I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
