Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
