Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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