the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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