Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
50% drunk capacity currently
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
