I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize