The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
