Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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