Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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