Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
