Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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