Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
