Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
