feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
