Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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