You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
