Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
