When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
