I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
do herpes really smell.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
