Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
