His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
