He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
