He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
