Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
