1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
