if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
How external is "for external use only"?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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