that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The adults are the big ones right?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
