i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
