I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
my sisters under your porch take her home
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
