i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
