drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
