My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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