I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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