Me too!
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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