you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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