two words...techno handjob
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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