Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
