She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
