i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
