WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
