the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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