U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize