He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
