That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
